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Saturday Morning Movie Club - One Movie Lover's Humble Opinions

 
My Rating System - I won't be using thumbs or stars or any of the other already taken [and may I say unoriginal] symbols. Instead my affinity for a film [or lack thereof] will be illustrated by clocks. Strange perhaps, but also practical. When you see as many movies as I do you end up seeing a significant amount of crap. The crappier the movie the more times I find myself checking the time. So here's the deal...there will be a scale from zero to 5. For those who have yet figured it out a rating of 5 clocks will be awarded to such horrific Hollywood debacles as Steven Spielberg's A.I. and zero stars will be reserved only for those movies that rise to the level of this summer's Little Miss Sunshine.

Saturday Morning Movie Club

Night At The Museum - 3 Clocks

January 5th 2007 21:50
Have you ever wondered what happens at the museum after the swinging doors lock and the lights go out??? I know I certainly have. But never once have I envisioned anything comical going on behind those doors and after seeing Night At The Museum I kind of wish Shawn Levy never had either.

Night At The Museum stars Ben Stiller as Larry Daley, an ideas man, who is forced to stop chasing his pot of gold and take a job as night watchman at the Museum of Natural History when his lack of direction prompts even his pre-adolescent son to point out that maybe he should consider finding a “fall back” career.


But Larry quickly finds out that this is one job that requires a great deal more work than your average $11.50/hour gig. His first clue – the missing T-Rex. So armed only with a set of keys and a flashlight, Larry enters into a world of living wax, battling action figures, and “weird faceless puppet creatures.” But fear not, because all it takes to tame these beasts is the ability to follow directions [watch out this is just one of the many hidden lessons for the movie’s likely pre-school audience]. And thanks to the outgoing trio of night watchmen, who had probably been on the job since T-Rex actually did roam the island of Manhattan, Larry has just that – a set of instructions for each and every creature in the museum.

Larry is also assisted by Teddy Roosevelt [or a wax version as we are constantly reminded], played by Robin Williams, who provides some much needed explanation. Larry’s mission – Keep everything and everyone inside the museum because come sunrise, anything that has escaped will turn to dust.

Night At The Museum did have some good points, starting with the crackpot team of retiring night watchmen. Their blatant resentment at forced retirement makes for some serious entertainment. Not to mention the obvious distaste for their youthful replacement evidenced mostly by Gus [Mickey Rooney], whose catchphrase “stop cracking wise” made clear that he was just as amused by Larry as I was.


And of course I have to mention Owen Wilson [hilarious as always], who proves that good things really do come in small packages.

So what do you get when you take so-so writing, add in some kick ass technology, a big heaping of morals/lessons and a side of history??? Well not the kind of Stiller comedy that I have grown to love, but a blockbuster hit nonetheless, because the kids in the theater seemed to love every second of it. Oh and I’m sure the movie won’t hurt ticket sales at the Museum of Natural History either…
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We Are Marshall - 0 Clocks

December 31st 2006 23:15
Unfortunately my credentials aren't of the sort that allow me the luxury of being paid for doing the thing I love to do. The result of this travesty is that generally the hours between 9AM and 5PM are reserved for things not movie related and even though I do my best to keep up with my viewing, I just don't have the time to review them all. I didn't plan to review We Are Marshall, and I still don't consider this a review, but I loved this movie so much that I had to atleast say something to let my small, but loyal, fanbase know how kick-ass it is.

So here's the first [of perhaps many] of what I will call - "A Quick Laundry List Of Reasons Why You Should [Or Should Not] See [Insert Appropriate Title]"...or "Laundry List" for short.

Laundry List – Why You Should See We Are Marshall

1. The Directing – Touching! This movie moved me not so much with the things that were said, but with the actions that were taken. From the smallest look between friends to the huge plays on the field, McG brought life to that story and for 2 hours and 7 minutes "I Was Marshall".

2. The Acting – Outstanding! Wonderful acting all around, with especially good performances by Anthony Mackie, Matthew Fox, David Strathairn, and Matthew McConaughey.

3. The Soundtrack – On The Money! There are only two things that a soundtrack should do. Number 1 – Each song should fit its respective scene; and Number 2 – The album, on its own, should be something that you would want to listen to. The soundtrack for We Are Marshall does both, and does it well.
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Clear & Present Danger - 2 Clocks

December 28th 2006 01:47
I will preface this by saying that it is not so much a review of Clear & Present Danger but more a stream of consciousness inspired by the movie…

I only recently began to realize how important casting is to a film [and television to be honest]. In my opinion there are three levels of talent when it comes to acting. The one held in highest regard is home to actors like Tom Hanks and Russell Crowe. These are the actors that are good no matter what. Doesn't matter who the character is, what genre the film is or even it's quality – they just become their character. No matter what they are selling I am buying. The next level can be used to describe the bulk of Hollywood. The actors who can get the job done, just as long as it falls within their range of talents. And then there are those who can only be described as bad. Strictly going through the motions and generating pangs of discomfort in their audience with each one.

Harrison Ford falls into the middle category [alb eight on the high end of the spectrum]. I think he is a fine actor, but I do have some complaints. The largest is that he is notorious for staring in action movies and I just don't buy him as the big hero. That is probably why the only action role I have ever really liked him in was the fugitive. Granted, most might categorize Dr. Richard Kimble as the big hero, but in my book that is a job that you actually have to sign up for. A big hero has a resume with hero credentials and Richard Kimble had no such credentials. His hero status was thrust upon him, much to his chagrin infact. Same thing in Firewall, where I also enjoyed Ford's performance – These were men who would have been perfectly content to never be involved in a car chase but due to circumstances beyond their control they have been forced to defend themselves and their families. Luke Skywalker and Indiana Jones [and I realize I may get some slack for these next comments], on the other hand, two of Ford's characters whose resumes would likely be found in a pile along side Superman and the Terminator I just don't like him.

In, Clear and Present Danger, Ford tows the line between big hero and ordinary guy whose just having a really bad day. He wasn't really a guy who was always destined for the front lines, but he did volunteer to work at the FBI. Semantics perhaps, but it was enough to make me question the talents of the movie's casting agent. Same thing in Air Force One – All around excellent flick, but some of the action scenes just seem like Ford is a little kid trying to hold his own with the big boys.

Come to think of it though, there is also another distinction that can be made between the roles that I have liked Ford in and those that I haven't. It would appear that those that I was less than impressed with were in films that I was forced to watch on the small screen. Now this would be the perfect lead in for my 2nd [and hopefully more brief] topic, but before we get there let us not forget the rest of the cast of Clear & Present Danger. I didn't like Donald Moffat as President Bennett – no big long explanation this time, just didn't like him. On the other hand, and here the film's casting agent begins to redeem herself, I loved James Earl Jones, as Ryan's mentor James Greer and Willem Dafoe was born to play the head of a covert operation.

Also, like every good action thriller, Clear & Present Danger provides a tech geek that the film's protagonist [had this been a different post I probably would have used the term hero] can always rely on just when the going gets really tough. And I must say I was thoroughly entertained by Greg German whose portrayal of Petey, the FBI's go-to computer nerd, had just the right mix of annoying younger brother and quirky best friend.

Okay now that we have totally exhausted the topic of casting, on to the one that I alluded to earlier – I need a home-theater. And I don't mean a 42' flat screen with HD and surround sound [although that would be nice]. No I'm talking about the whole nine – 100' screen and a dozen stadium-arranged lazy boys in a cozy soundproof room. It's either that or I will just have to make sure that I see all action movies before they leave the theaters.

I know I'm not the only one who has walked away from an at-home viewing of an action film and thought "I could have sworn that movie had some kick ass action scenes when I saw it in the theater." And it is for that reason, among others, that I will never again watch Déjà Vu. Because although it had what I think was one of the best car chases in movie history [those of you who saw it know exactly what I am talking about and those of you who haven't should go to the theater and see if before its too late], if I watched it on my pitiful 30' television, it would without a doubt end up as the scene during which I leave the room to grab a Snapple.

On a final note - To the cinematic powers that be – moviegoers, or at least this one, are okay with the good guy coming up a little short in the end. If art is ever going to really start imitating life it needs to loosen the big red bow sometimes.
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Bobby - 3 Clocks

December 11th 2006 01:53
As an avid moviegoer there is nothing I hate more than knowing the ending of a movie before watching it. I make a special effort to avoid all publicity, interviews and have even been known to, on occasion, stick my fingers in my ears and sing a song to block out any clues. But sometimes it's inevitable. Sometimes a movie tells a story so well known that you would literally have to grow up under a rock to not know how its going to end. And it is those stories that present a particular challenge for the creative minds behind the film. And with Bobby, writer/director Emilio Estevez rose to that challenge.

Estevez took the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy, an event, whose telling should have been anti-climactic, and instead of focusing on the event itself he shifted the spotlight to the seemingly mundane characters who lived the event up close. However getting around this initial obstacle was not enough, because despite what could have been an interesting take on a historical event, Bobby still failed to climax.

With a cast that reads like a laundry list of who's who in Hollywood, what Bobby lacks in follow through it makes up for with truly outstanding performances. On second thought make that "ALMOST makes up for," because in a movie with close to ten storylines all going on at once, these truly genuine performances only whet the appetite and left this audience member unsatisfied.

If you like Bobby then it will be for all the wrong reasons. It will be because it connects you to a time from your past or a hope you have for the future. Luckily for Estevez, it is a connection that for many will be strong enough to blind them from all that is missing from Bobby. But for others who are too young to remember or too cynical to care, they will want something more than a well acted history lesson and Bobby simply fails to deliver.
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For Your Consideration - 4 Clocks

December 3rd 2006 17:32
With the Oscars right around the corner, leave it to Christopher Guest and company to come out with a movie mocking the entire process. Unfortunately the funniest thing about this film is the suggestion that something written by a no-name, online critic, like myself, could spiral into the craziness that is For Your Consideration. It all starts when an Internet critic deems the performance of has-been actress Marilyn Hack [Catherine O'Hara] "Oscar-worthy." And before we know it the entire cast of Home For Purim seems to be infected with Oscar fever.

In a nutshell, For Your Consideration is a "How To" [or how not to] guide to getting an Academy Award nomination…

Step One – The Internet: Get the Oscar buzz started with some good online press
Step Two – Your Audience: Cater to the masses by changing the film's title to something more commercial
Step Three – The Circuit: Have your publicist book a few talk show appearances

Unfortunately both movies forgot Step Four – Make a quality movie!!!

Guest & Co. have become famous for taking already ridiculous situations and making them all that much more ridiculous by creating characters who are as funny as any comedian but apparently not in on the joke. It is what made movies like Best In Show and Waiting For Guffman cult classics and it is what is missing from For Your Consideration. That is with the exception of one performance – Eugene Levy. Levy, who has turned the act of senseless rambling into an art form, is hilarious as a Hollywood agent Morley Orfkin. But with very limited screen time, Levy's off-the-wall persona doesn't make up for the disappointing performances of his usually entertaining co-stars.

And with that being said, now that I have seen the great power that I, and other online critics like myself, possess, I want to make perfectly clear that come January 23rd, when this year's Academy Award nominees are announced, the cast and crew of For Your Consideration can sleep in.
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Fast Food Nation - 0 Clocks

November 24th 2006 16:30
It should be noted that Fast Food Nation is not, I repeat not, a documentary, as many might assume prior to seeing it. And having said that it is important to keep in mind that its creators do have an agenda; one that involves, I'm sure, both entertainment and politics. But despite its obvious political and social bias, Fast Food Nation does a good job of showing the many sides of an issue that does indeed have many sides. It is the sorted tale of Mickey's, a fast food chain that doesn't target any particular American business and yet seems to embody them all.

It appears that some testing has been done on the Mickey's meat and the results are troubling to say the least. "Somehow cow manure has gotten into the meat" and the corporate powers-that-be have decided to send Don Anderson [Greg Kinnear], a marketing executive down to the meat plant to look into the matter. From there, Fast Food Nation takes its audience down a path that only the strong [make that heartless] could stomach.
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Babel - 3 Clocks

November 20th 2006 18:27
Babel – "A confusion of sounds or voices." It's a term often used but rarely explored. That is until now…

In the latest edition to a growing genre of movies that focus on a universal theme and the way in which it unifies a group of otherwise unrelated individuals, Babel tells the tale of an American tourist who is shot while abroad in Morocco and the rippling effects it has on four different groups worldwide. But beyond the incident itself these characters also share a human flaw that transcends geographical borders. It is a failure, and sometimes even an unwillingness, to communicate, and Babel exposes this societal Achilles' heal by showing us how sometimes speech can be less of a means of communication and more "a confusion of sounds or voices." But such a theme should only be taken so far…
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Stranger Than Fiction - 1 Clock

November 15th 2006 00:53
Which came first, the author or the character??? The obvious answer is the author – after all the character is a mere figment of the author’s imagination. But what if he isn’t??? What if he is a methodical IRS agent so obsessed with control that he has reduced his entire life to a system of numbers??? Well then you would have Harold Crick [Will Ferrell], the main character in author, Kay Eiffel’s [Emma Thompson] latest novel, and unfortunately for Harold, all of Ms. Eiffel’s main characters die. But Harold isn’t like any of those previous characters because with every strike of the keyboard, Harold can hear Ms. Eiffel’s voice inside his head as she details his daily routine. And it soon becomes clear that his life is dependant on the prolonged writer’s block of this morbid author.

So how do you stop your “imminent death” when your killer is a voice inside your head??? True to form, Harold starts with the only logical solution – He goes to see a psychologist. But when her only suggestion is that he must be suffering from schizophrenia, Harold finds himself seeking guidance from Professor Jules Hilbert [Dustin Hoffman]. According to Professor Hilbert, a professor of literature and Harold’s only confidant, the answer lies in determining the genre of Harold’s story. His advice - “If it is a tragedy you die, and if it is a comedy you get hitched.” And so begins a beautiful journey of self-discovery that forces Harold outside of his world of facts and figures and into a life worth fighting for.
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Flushed Away - 1 Clock

November 15th 2006 00:52
It's the age-old question – Is it better to be a lonely house-rat living in the lap of luxury or a grungy sewer-rat surrounded by family and friends??? The former certainly seemed to be the better choice for Roddy [voice of Hugh Jackman], and when we are first introduced to him it appears that he has made quite a life for himself. He's driving a plastic sports car, playing beach volleyball on the living room rug, and even dating the doll next door, that is until he is outsmarted by a sewer-rat. But getting flushed away may have been just what Roddy needed.

Like Alice down the rabbit hole, next thing he knows, Roddy is in wonderland. Alright it isn't a magical land filled with wondrous creatures, but it is an underground recreation of Britain, right down to the inanimate guards outside Buckingham Palace, and for rats that's pretty impressive. Roddy immediately begins his quest home and on the advice of a sidewalk food vendor, Roddy finds himself acquiring the services of Rita [voice of Kate Winslet]. Despite a rocky start, the two reluctantly become friends when they find themselves the target of a toad who's been nursing a grudge against rats ever since he was passed over for royal pet by Prince Charles.
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Little Children - 2 Clocks

November 15th 2006 00:51
When we’re children we are encouraged to fantasize, but as we grow older that type of behavior becomes discouraged. We are taught to do as we are told and fight the urge to act on instinct. Little Children tells the story of a community of people, who despite their age have allowed themselves to succumb to their fantasies. The movie explores a range of fantasy from those as innocent as the daydreams of lonely homemakers to the more sinister desires of a convicted sex offender.

Among the members of this anonymous New England community are Sarah Pierce [Kate Winslet] and Brad Adamson [Patrick Wilson]. To the outside world each wears the mask of devoted spouse and loving parent, but beneath the façade both feel trapped. At a local playground where all the neighborhood mothers come to gossip, Sarah finds herself taking a bet to see if she can get the phone number of “the prom king” – the only father to ever be seen at the playground. Sarah not only gets Brad’s number but the two also share a kiss and eventually much more.
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